Today begins an entirely new journey for me. Though I have been working out, my best friend came to me and told me that she found a contest on bodybuilding.com. It's a 12 week program, where you workout, leanout and post progress pictures along the way. Every week they give away cash prizes, and after the 12 weeks, if you win for the best transformation, you win a 7 day trip to Sandals in Jamaica. I will be going there next May to attend the same friend's wedding, and it would be so cool if I could either use that as my trip or get to go again. Who doesn't want to sit on the most beautiful beach in the world in there brand new bikini body?! I'm pumped.
The contest allows you to follow whatever diet/exercise program, so Shannon and I will do the plan I'm currently on, Jamie Eason's plan from bodybuilding.com. And as an added bonus, because all of the foods on my plan are clean, I'm going to see if I can also incorporate the "Blood Type Diet" and work extremely hard to lose as much weight as I possibly can. I so want to win this trip!
So, I'm still plunging away at dating myself, and now I'm about to get in the best shape of my life. Shannon is really competitive, so now that I have a challenge, I'm going to kick some ass!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Day 8: Dating Detox
Well, I have officially made it a week. I'm still reading the book, and it is very interesting. Patti makes valid points, and the phases of the plan make complete sense. I've been doing lots of stuff alone, which is not really a rarity for me, and for whatever reason, I have been getting hit on more than usual. Is it because I don't care about being hit on right now? It's almost like when you finally get into a committed relationship, and men flock from everywhere just to get next to you. Maybe in both situations, there is a contentness, confidence and aura that is being transmitted causing the man meter to rise. Lol
Anyway, here's a list of Patti's dating commandments.
1. Thou Shalt Return Calls Promptly
2. Thou Shalt Honor Thy Dating Commitments
3. Thou Shalt Let The Man Take The Lead
4. In the Beginning, Thou Shalt Leave the Past in the Past
5. Thou Shalt Be Engaging
6. Thou Shalt Not Drink Too Much On A Date
7. Thou Shalt Not Be A Gold Digger
8. Thou Shalt Act Like A Lady
9. Thou Shalt Express Sincere Interest and Appreciation
10. Thou Shalt Not Become Intimate on the First Date
11. Thou Shalt Not Wear Too Much Bling
Anyway, here's a list of Patti's dating commandments.
1. Thou Shalt Return Calls Promptly
2. Thou Shalt Honor Thy Dating Commitments
3. Thou Shalt Let The Man Take The Lead
4. In the Beginning, Thou Shalt Leave the Past in the Past
5. Thou Shalt Be Engaging
6. Thou Shalt Not Drink Too Much On A Date
7. Thou Shalt Not Be A Gold Digger
8. Thou Shalt Act Like A Lady
9. Thou Shalt Express Sincere Interest and Appreciation
10. Thou Shalt Not Become Intimate on the First Date
11. Thou Shalt Not Wear Too Much Bling
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Sometimes in life....
people in life tell you things you don't want to hear but need to hear. I was told tonight that I'm a beautiful woman, and I'm so loved by many. But a lot of times I'm loud and curse like a sailor. Though it's more acceptable for men to do it, women should refrain from being assholes and learn to be ladies. I always find this offensive, as I am, what I consider to be very lady-like.
But this one person, that I love so much and respect completely made a very valid point. Though I am a very outspoken and an extroverted person, I can choose my words wisely and still get my point across. Do I really think I need harsh man-words to prove a point? And, who do I think I'm impressing anyway? It's not like I'm still in college and don't know any better, I'm 33 and proud of the woman I've become. There really is no use for my absurd loudness or harsh words. I can be even more beautiful on the outside as well as the inside with more cautious words. And do I really need 4 letter words for emphasis? Doubtful.
What do you think? Do women get judged for profanity? Should women be able to get away with it? After all, I'm still a traditional girl that likes doors being opened for her and a man that plays the manly part!
But this one person, that I love so much and respect completely made a very valid point. Though I am a very outspoken and an extroverted person, I can choose my words wisely and still get my point across. Do I really think I need harsh man-words to prove a point? And, who do I think I'm impressing anyway? It's not like I'm still in college and don't know any better, I'm 33 and proud of the woman I've become. There really is no use for my absurd loudness or harsh words. I can be even more beautiful on the outside as well as the inside with more cautious words. And do I really need 4 letter words for emphasis? Doubtful.
What do you think? Do women get judged for profanity? Should women be able to get away with it? After all, I'm still a traditional girl that likes doors being opened for her and a man that plays the manly part!
Day 7: Dating Detox
Next, Patti says it is time to make a dating wish list. Write a list of fun activities you've always wanted to try, the sky is the limit. Here's mine.
concerts
traveling to new places
sky diving
creating music
wine tastings
sporting events
helicopter touring
visiting beaches
spa treatments/weekends
painting
hot air balloon ride
shopping for ME
scheduling a trip that neither of us have been
ghost tours
exploring a nearby city
Now it's time to write down the names of all the restaurants you've wanted to try, ranging from the hole in the wall to the most posh five-star in town. I'm not going to say that I haven't been to some of these, because I have, but I would like to have another experience there.
Maison Lacour French
Ruth's Chris
Sullivan's Steakhouse
Flemming's
Gino's
Mansurs On The Boulevard
Nino's Italian Restaurant
Magnolia Grill
Juban's
Stroube's
Doe's Eat Place
Brandt's Maisonette
Latil's Landing at Houmas House Plantation
Camelot Club
Lafitte's Landing
Zea's Rotissarie and Grill
Enoteca Marcello Wine Bar and Cafe
Bistro Byronz
French Market Bistro
Di Giulio Brothers
Beausoleil Restaurant and Bar
Carrabba's
Brunet's Cajun
Galatoire's Bistro
Le Creole
Asian Pearl - Zachary
Pinetta's
The purpose: Once you have these lists of activities and restaurants, you'll be fully prepared when a man asks you, as he inevitably will, "What would you like to do? Where would you like to go? What kind of food do you like to eat? When a man asks you what you would like to do, he wants to please you." I always thought that when a man asks me what I would like to do it is because he has run out of original ideas. Why is it that I enjoy being taken around town not knowing where we are going or thinking about what I want to do or where I want to go? I'm used to that Type A personality, which I like, but I need to keep all of my options open. After all, one day I'm going to want to do something that I want to do and if I'm with Mr. Type A, I will only be along for the ride.
concerts
traveling to new places
sky diving
creating music
wine tastings
sporting events
helicopter touring
visiting beaches
spa treatments/weekends
painting
hot air balloon ride
shopping for ME
scheduling a trip that neither of us have been
ghost tours
exploring a nearby city
Now it's time to write down the names of all the restaurants you've wanted to try, ranging from the hole in the wall to the most posh five-star in town. I'm not going to say that I haven't been to some of these, because I have, but I would like to have another experience there.
Maison Lacour French
Ruth's Chris
Sullivan's Steakhouse
Flemming's
Gino's
Mansurs On The Boulevard
Nino's Italian Restaurant
Magnolia Grill
Juban's
Stroube's
Doe's Eat Place
Brandt's Maisonette
Latil's Landing at Houmas House Plantation
Camelot Club
Lafitte's Landing
Zea's Rotissarie and Grill
Enoteca Marcello Wine Bar and Cafe
Bistro Byronz
French Market Bistro
Di Giulio Brothers
Beausoleil Restaurant and Bar
Carrabba's
Brunet's Cajun
Galatoire's Bistro
Le Creole
Asian Pearl - Zachary
Pinetta's
The purpose: Once you have these lists of activities and restaurants, you'll be fully prepared when a man asks you, as he inevitably will, "What would you like to do? Where would you like to go? What kind of food do you like to eat? When a man asks you what you would like to do, he wants to please you." I always thought that when a man asks me what I would like to do it is because he has run out of original ideas. Why is it that I enjoy being taken around town not knowing where we are going or thinking about what I want to do or where I want to go? I'm used to that Type A personality, which I like, but I need to keep all of my options open. After all, one day I'm going to want to do something that I want to do and if I'm with Mr. Type A, I will only be along for the ride.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The Pregnancy Pact
I am one of those people that has to be listening to some dialogue when working (mostly due to my ADD), so sometimes, I will find a movie on YouTube and listen to it while completing various tasks at work. I usually make sure that it is upbeat, funny and PGish, in fear there might be some steamy sex scene and get busted. I finally finished listening to Mean Girls 2, which was pretty boring unlike the first one, when I stumbled along The Pregnancy Pack. At first thought it seemed it might be something deeper then comedy, and after a few minutes realizing it was true, I had a feeling that it was something that needed listening. I am astounded that this is a "based on a true story." So, If you haven't seen it, it is certainly worth watching, particularly if you have female children. Let me see if I can come up with some press about it.....
Pregnancy Boom at Gloucester High
As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies — more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers. But principal Joseph Sullivan knows at least part of the reason there's been such a spike in teen pregnancies in this Massachusetts fishing town. School officials started looking into the matter as early as October, after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. "We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.
The question of what to do next has divided this fiercely Catholic enclave. Even with national data showing a 3% rise in teen pregnancies in 2006 — the first increase in 15 years — Gloucester isn't sure it wants to provide easier access to birth control. In any case, many residents worry that the problem goes much deeper. The past decade has been difficult for this mostly white, mostly blue-collar city (pop. 30,000). In Gloucester, perched on scenic Cape Ann, the economy has always depended on a strong fishing industry. But in recent years, such jobs have all but disappeared overseas, and with them much of the community's wherewithal. "Families are broken," says school superintendent Christopher Farmer. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."
The girls who made the pregnancy pact — some of whom, according to Sullivan, reacted to the news that they were expecting with high fives and plans for baby showers — declined to be interviewed. So did their parents. But Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."
The high school has done perhaps too good a job of embracing young mothers. Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. "We're proud to help the mothers stay in school," says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.
But by May, after nurse practitioner Kim Daly had administered some 150 pregnancy tests at Gloucester High's student clinic, she and the clinic's medical director, Dr. Brian Orr, a local pediatrician, began to advocate prescribing contraceptives regardless of parental consent, a practice at about 15 public high schools in Massachusetts. Currently Gloucester teens must travel about 20 miles (30 km) to reach the nearest women's health clinic; younger girls have to get a ride or take the train and walk. But the notion of a school handing out birth control pills has met with hostility. Says Mayor Carolyn Kirk: "Dr. Orr and Ms. Daly have no right to decide this for our children." The pair resigned in protest on May 30.
Gloucester's elected school committee plans to vote later this summer on whether to provide contraceptives. But that won't do much to solve the issue of teens wanting to get pregnant. Says rising junior Kacia Lowe, who is a classmate of the pactmakers': "No one's offered them a better option." And better options may be a tall order in a city so uncertain of its future.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1816486,00.html#ixzz1ZBf9d3vo
Pregnancy Boom at Gloucester High
As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies — more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers. But principal Joseph Sullivan knows at least part of the reason there's been such a spike in teen pregnancies in this Massachusetts fishing town. School officials started looking into the matter as early as October, after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. "We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.
The question of what to do next has divided this fiercely Catholic enclave. Even with national data showing a 3% rise in teen pregnancies in 2006 — the first increase in 15 years — Gloucester isn't sure it wants to provide easier access to birth control. In any case, many residents worry that the problem goes much deeper. The past decade has been difficult for this mostly white, mostly blue-collar city (pop. 30,000). In Gloucester, perched on scenic Cape Ann, the economy has always depended on a strong fishing industry. But in recent years, such jobs have all but disappeared overseas, and with them much of the community's wherewithal. "Families are broken," says school superintendent Christopher Farmer. "Many of our young people are growing up directionless."
The girls who made the pregnancy pact — some of whom, according to Sullivan, reacted to the news that they were expecting with high fives and plans for baby showers — declined to be interviewed. So did their parents. But Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Ireland says. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."
The high school has done perhaps too good a job of embracing young mothers. Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. "We're proud to help the mothers stay in school," says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.
But by May, after nurse practitioner Kim Daly had administered some 150 pregnancy tests at Gloucester High's student clinic, she and the clinic's medical director, Dr. Brian Orr, a local pediatrician, began to advocate prescribing contraceptives regardless of parental consent, a practice at about 15 public high schools in Massachusetts. Currently Gloucester teens must travel about 20 miles (30 km) to reach the nearest women's health clinic; younger girls have to get a ride or take the train and walk. But the notion of a school handing out birth control pills has met with hostility. Says Mayor Carolyn Kirk: "Dr. Orr and Ms. Daly have no right to decide this for our children." The pair resigned in protest on May 30.
Gloucester's elected school committee plans to vote later this summer on whether to provide contraceptives. But that won't do much to solve the issue of teens wanting to get pregnant. Says rising junior Kacia Lowe, who is a classmate of the pactmakers': "No one's offered them a better option." And better options may be a tall order in a city so uncertain of its future.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1816486,00.html#ixzz1ZBf9d3vo
Monday, September 26, 2011
The 11 Most Annoying Things Single Women Don’t Want to Hear
11. Use this time to work on you. Anytime’s a good time for self-improvement. I know some women need to decompress following a really bad or hurtful relationship, but singleness need not be the sole reason to chase a dream or chip away at a personal flaw. Shouldn’t that just be a part of life, hitched or not?
10. Stop being so picky. A woman wants what she wants. But if expecting a man to have a job, his right mind, some manners, and all of his front teeth — and not the gold kind — makes a gal picky, then guilty as charged.
9. Just pray about it. With tsunamis and floods, hurricanes and storms, and the presidential election coming up, too, I refuse to bother God with the deets of my love life anymore. Unless He just needs a good chuckle.
8. Is that what you’re wearing to go out? No, actually it’s not. I was just about to change into my man-magnet lace bra top and hot pants.
7. I envy you. I wish I was still single. Can we be honest with each other right here? If you really wanted to be single, boo, you would be. It’s free and available to anybody who wants to have it. Plenty of it to go around. So don’t feign envy at my marital status.
6. It’s his loss. That might’ve made me feel better when I was in the fifth grade. Maybe a scratch and sniff sticker to go along with the advice would help heal the hurt.
5. Have you tried [insert online dating site here]? I know the commercials are convincing. Just pay your little membership fee and love pops into your inbox. But I can count on one hand how many people I personally know who’ve scored dates with reasonably compatible dudes on those sites, much less a whole relationship. And besides, the guy in the eHarmony commercial is creepy. Talking about he might not be single after their second date?! Yikes.
4. Let me introduce you to my nephew/son/cousin/brother/co-worker/personal trainer/mechanic/dentist/lawyer/butcher/bail bondsman. There are times when two people seem like they would just so totally hit it off that it’s almost stupid to not try to at least introduce them, then sit back and watch the sparks from your romantic handiwork fly. But sometimes folks get desperate — even if you’re not — and all it takes for some lucky dude to become their single friend’s next date is the fact that ... well, he’s a dude.
3. Do you go out to places where you can meet men? Where exactly are these fabled places where I can just pluck men like fresh produce off the trees, ripe and ready for commitment? Gimme an address to plug into my GPS. Rare is the woman whose main dating problem is that she’s holed up in her home. We’re out there but, short of having an experience that would make prophets out of The Weather Girls, it’s not necessarily raining men.
2. Stop focusing on it so much and let it happen. Ah, you got me. Here I was doodling “Janelle loves Anonymous” all over my notebooks. I’m a single mother, I own a business, and I’m not lamenting the absence of a husband in my household. It would’ve been nice to be married, yes. But my life’s work is not unfulfilled because I never had an engagement ring slipped onto my left hand.
1. Gasp! You’re so great/wonderful/amazing. Why are you still single? Even I can never think of an answer snarky enough for this one.
Read more: http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/126396/the_11_most_annoying_things
10. Stop being so picky. A woman wants what she wants. But if expecting a man to have a job, his right mind, some manners, and all of his front teeth — and not the gold kind — makes a gal picky, then guilty as charged.
9. Just pray about it. With tsunamis and floods, hurricanes and storms, and the presidential election coming up, too, I refuse to bother God with the deets of my love life anymore. Unless He just needs a good chuckle.
8. Is that what you’re wearing to go out? No, actually it’s not. I was just about to change into my man-magnet lace bra top and hot pants.
7. I envy you. I wish I was still single. Can we be honest with each other right here? If you really wanted to be single, boo, you would be. It’s free and available to anybody who wants to have it. Plenty of it to go around. So don’t feign envy at my marital status.
6. It’s his loss. That might’ve made me feel better when I was in the fifth grade. Maybe a scratch and sniff sticker to go along with the advice would help heal the hurt.
5. Have you tried [insert online dating site here]? I know the commercials are convincing. Just pay your little membership fee and love pops into your inbox. But I can count on one hand how many people I personally know who’ve scored dates with reasonably compatible dudes on those sites, much less a whole relationship. And besides, the guy in the eHarmony commercial is creepy. Talking about he might not be single after their second date?! Yikes.
4. Let me introduce you to my nephew/son/cousin/brother/co-worker/personal trainer/mechanic/dentist/lawyer/butcher/bail bondsman. There are times when two people seem like they would just so totally hit it off that it’s almost stupid to not try to at least introduce them, then sit back and watch the sparks from your romantic handiwork fly. But sometimes folks get desperate — even if you’re not — and all it takes for some lucky dude to become their single friend’s next date is the fact that ... well, he’s a dude.
3. Do you go out to places where you can meet men? Where exactly are these fabled places where I can just pluck men like fresh produce off the trees, ripe and ready for commitment? Gimme an address to plug into my GPS. Rare is the woman whose main dating problem is that she’s holed up in her home. We’re out there but, short of having an experience that would make prophets out of The Weather Girls, it’s not necessarily raining men.
2. Stop focusing on it so much and let it happen. Ah, you got me. Here I was doodling “Janelle loves Anonymous” all over my notebooks. I’m a single mother, I own a business, and I’m not lamenting the absence of a husband in my household. It would’ve been nice to be married, yes. But my life’s work is not unfulfilled because I never had an engagement ring slipped onto my left hand.
1. Gasp! You’re so great/wonderful/amazing. Why are you still single? Even I can never think of an answer snarky enough for this one.
Read more: http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/126396/the_11_most_annoying_things
Day 6: Dating Detox
So, here's the kicker...next assignment: Take the 25 qualities that are important to you in each category and pick the 10 traits that are the most crucial. Ugh! This was REALLY hard for me to do, most of them seemed to be deal breakers, but I think I did my best in making my list. In no particular order....
1. Tall/Dark/Dark Hair/Handsome/Big Upper Body
2. Adventurous
3. Loving
4. Smart/Computer Genius/Wants to Learn New Things
5. Social/Life of the Party/Extrovert
6. Funny/Humorous/Makes Me Laugh
7. Financially Blessed
8. Spends Money Wisely
9. Spoils His Mate/Himself
10. Looks for New Ways to Make Money
Now, apparently, you're supposed to narrow them down to the top 5 non-negotiables. Really? Lol. It was tough enough to get down to 10....they are in order this time....
1. Loving
2. Social/Life of the Party/Extrovert
3. Funny/Humorous/Mkes Me Laugh
4. Financially Blessed
5. Spoils His Mate/Himself
1. Tall/Dark/Dark Hair/Handsome/Big Upper Body
2. Adventurous
3. Loving
4. Smart/Computer Genius/Wants to Learn New Things
5. Social/Life of the Party/Extrovert
6. Funny/Humorous/Makes Me Laugh
7. Financially Blessed
8. Spends Money Wisely
9. Spoils His Mate/Himself
10. Looks for New Ways to Make Money
Now, apparently, you're supposed to narrow them down to the top 5 non-negotiables. Really? Lol. It was tough enough to get down to 10....they are in order this time....
1. Loving
2. Social/Life of the Party/Extrovert
3. Funny/Humorous/Mkes Me Laugh
4. Financially Blessed
5. Spoils His Mate/Himself
Day 5: Dating Detox
When I'm interested in my reading material, I can't help but read too much too soon. So, now in Chapter 4, when I really should be just focused on Chapter's 1 and 2, I have found another assignment, which really does go along with my current phase of the program. It is basically to analyze the first two homework assignments to come up with a list of 5 most important in the categories: spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and financial. So, here is what I've come up with as most important to me. Notice, the spiritual category is probably the least of my concerns and therefore has only 4 listed.
Spiritual:
spiritual not religious
law of attraction/power of universe
open to exploring spirituality through meditation
positive spirit and energy
Physical:
tall/dark/dark hair/handsome/big upper body
would try anything once
attention to detail/dresses well
adventurous
wants to workout and have a healthy lifestyle
Emotional:
loving
attentive
wants to spend time together
matches me sexually/wants to make love all the time
loves and gets along well with his family/has no or older kids
Intellectual:
smart/computer genius/wants to learn new things
musically inclined
social/life of the party/extrovert
funny/humorous/makes me laugh
in depth conversations about everything
Financial:
financially blessed
has a home/owns property
spends money wisely
spoils his mate/himself
looks for new ways to make money
Spiritual:
spiritual not religious
law of attraction/power of universe
open to exploring spirituality through meditation
positive spirit and energy
Physical:
tall/dark/dark hair/handsome/big upper body
would try anything once
attention to detail/dresses well
adventurous
wants to workout and have a healthy lifestyle
Emotional:
loving
attentive
wants to spend time together
matches me sexually/wants to make love all the time
loves and gets along well with his family/has no or older kids
Intellectual:
smart/computer genius/wants to learn new things
musically inclined
social/life of the party/extrovert
funny/humorous/makes me laugh
in depth conversations about everything
Financial:
financially blessed
has a home/owns property
spends money wisely
spoils his mate/himself
looks for new ways to make money
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Day 4: Dating Detox
I so love Sunday Funday! I almost always hang out with mostly singles, though two of our own are currently dating themselves. It was not so hard over the weekend in hanging with the fam, but I have to say that today is more difficult. In football season, women are forced to look really cute in a jersey, though I'm wearing a dress, hoping someone will want to talk to me, but as we all know, football is way too important. But, as I am dating myself, I look forward to the game being over and Gossip Girl beginning.
Of course I have many chores and other Sunday things to accomplish, I know that my time with the singles will soon be done and the work week and heavy workout and healthy eating regime will begin! As a matter of fact,before GG, I have to get some groceries to cook many healthy meals that I will consume over the next week. Till I get home, I may as well try to pay attention to the game and make myself seem cooler.....
On the next note, can the saints just win so me and my BFF just speak again. Ugh? And maybe then can everyone all just have a good time. Lol.
Finally, the music has resumed and the shopping is about to begin....happy singledom!
Of course I have many chores and other Sunday things to accomplish, I know that my time with the singles will soon be done and the work week and heavy workout and healthy eating regime will begin! As a matter of fact,before GG, I have to get some groceries to cook many healthy meals that I will consume over the next week. Till I get home, I may as well try to pay attention to the game and make myself seem cooler.....
On the next note, can the saints just win so me and my BFF just speak again. Ugh? And maybe then can everyone all just have a good time. Lol.
Finally, the music has resumed and the shopping is about to begin....happy singledom!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Day 3: Dating Detox
The next exercise that I worked on is dealing with your values, what's important to you and what do you need in a person. The five categories are: spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and financial. This is what's important to me.
Spiritual: spiritual not religious, knows the law of attraction and the power of the universe, open to exploring spirituality through meditation, positive energy and spirit about him
Physical: tall, dark, handsome, dark hair, big broad (fit but not necessarily huge muscles) chest, dresses well, wants to workout and have a healthy lifestyle
Emotional: loving, attentive, someone who wants to spend time together, make love all of the time, matches me sexually; loves and gets along well with his family, has no kids or older ones
Intellectual: smart, funny, life of the party, wants to continuously learn new things, gramatically correct, musically inclined, wants to have in depth conversations
Financial: financially blessed, has a home of his own, spends money wisely, budget conscious but likes to have fun, looking for new ventures and investments
Everything is going according to plan. I feel like I've made a good decision, and the book is such a great read that I can't put it down! I look forward to more days to come!!!
Spiritual: spiritual not religious, knows the law of attraction and the power of the universe, open to exploring spirituality through meditation, positive energy and spirit about him
Physical: tall, dark, handsome, dark hair, big broad (fit but not necessarily huge muscles) chest, dresses well, wants to workout and have a healthy lifestyle
Emotional: loving, attentive, someone who wants to spend time together, make love all of the time, matches me sexually; loves and gets along well with his family, has no kids or older ones
Intellectual: smart, funny, life of the party, wants to continuously learn new things, gramatically correct, musically inclined, wants to have in depth conversations
Financial: financially blessed, has a home of his own, spends money wisely, budget conscious but likes to have fun, looking for new ventures and investments
Everything is going according to plan. I feel like I've made a good decision, and the book is such a great read that I can't put it down! I look forward to more days to come!!!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Day 2: Dating Detox
First Assignment: Take 5 of your significant relationships and list 5 reasons that attracted and kept you with them and 5 reasons you needed to end the relationship. I did my best to only have 5, but sometimes there is more that needs to be added. The bold lettering means another person had the same trait, which is important in determining any patterns, etc. Due to the sensitive nature of the lists, I have renamed these men, just incase. Lol
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60 Day Dating Detox
So, I started reading Patti Stanger's Become Your Own Matchmaker today, and I'm committing to Patti's plan. I have been in a relationship for two and a half years, which means I have to be on Dating Detox for 60 days. I have to admit I was slightly stunned by this since he and I broke up a few months ago, but considering I was going to secretively run away with the guy and get married just to stay together, I kind of find it refreshing to "date myself for 60 days!"
I have to admit, in this day and age, going without physical connection from another person might just kill me, but Patti knows her stuff, so I'm going to commit to this whether I like it or not. I know I have to let the past go and discover exactly what I want so I can recognize it when it walks into my life. So, here we go Patti!
Day 1: Because I'm such an incredible student, I probably read too much too soon. I know this is not necessarily in my best interest, but I have to know what the road map looks like. And, if I'm not allowed to date, or fulfill any of my sexual desires by another party, I have to consider why I'm giving it up. I've seen enough episodes to know there is no sex before an exclusive relationship, and since I'm dating myself, I'm kind of screwed in that department for many months. But since she's the relationship guru, I'm willing to do what it takes to meet my soul mate.
So, I vow to bring you guys along this journey of mine for 60 days. Patti is right, the second you exude happiness and declare no sex, it brings itself to you. It's like a drug addict wanting to be sober, but the dealer always finds his way to you. Tonight in hanging with two of my best friends, one guy and one girl, my guy BFF tells me he's going skinny dipping after dinner. I so wanted to go and even said, "I'm in!" when my girl BFF said, "Aimee, this is not a good idea!" And, she was right. I've committed to being by myself for at least 60 days, and until I have found my soul mate and we are exclusive, I will not be having any sexual activity of any kind.
So dear friends and followers, I am looking forward to some encouragement. I've never been a person to deny myself of anything. And, though I'm sort of scared of this challenge, I will somehow make it work. Patti knows her shit! I will check in daily because this is the only way I can account for any feelings/desires/wishes I may encounter on this journey. I hope everyone is supportive, and I apprecate any help in becoming a strong, non-sexual, woman in the next, which feels like forever, several months.
Sincerely,
Aimee
Cheers to ME and my sweet self for 60 days!
I have to admit, in this day and age, going without physical connection from another person might just kill me, but Patti knows her stuff, so I'm going to commit to this whether I like it or not. I know I have to let the past go and discover exactly what I want so I can recognize it when it walks into my life. So, here we go Patti!
Day 1: Because I'm such an incredible student, I probably read too much too soon. I know this is not necessarily in my best interest, but I have to know what the road map looks like. And, if I'm not allowed to date, or fulfill any of my sexual desires by another party, I have to consider why I'm giving it up. I've seen enough episodes to know there is no sex before an exclusive relationship, and since I'm dating myself, I'm kind of screwed in that department for many months. But since she's the relationship guru, I'm willing to do what it takes to meet my soul mate.
So, I vow to bring you guys along this journey of mine for 60 days. Patti is right, the second you exude happiness and declare no sex, it brings itself to you. It's like a drug addict wanting to be sober, but the dealer always finds his way to you. Tonight in hanging with two of my best friends, one guy and one girl, my guy BFF tells me he's going skinny dipping after dinner. I so wanted to go and even said, "I'm in!" when my girl BFF said, "Aimee, this is not a good idea!" And, she was right. I've committed to being by myself for at least 60 days, and until I have found my soul mate and we are exclusive, I will not be having any sexual activity of any kind.
So dear friends and followers, I am looking forward to some encouragement. I've never been a person to deny myself of anything. And, though I'm sort of scared of this challenge, I will somehow make it work. Patti knows her shit! I will check in daily because this is the only way I can account for any feelings/desires/wishes I may encounter on this journey. I hope everyone is supportive, and I apprecate any help in becoming a strong, non-sexual, woman in the next, which feels like forever, several months.
Sincerely,
Aimee
Cheers to ME and my sweet self for 60 days!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
6 Ways to Supersize Your Self-Control
"No mimosa for me. I have to go running after brunch."
"Dessert? I'm too full from dinner."
"Sorry, can't make happy hour; I'm off to Spinning class."
We all know a friend who seems immune to the siren song of cocktails, cupcakes, and canapes. Wouldn't you like to know her secret? Shh...She's found a new muscle to flex: her willpower. That's right. Researchers have found that you can chisel your self-control just as you do your quads or biceps. "With practice your self-control muscle becomes less flabby, so you have the strength you need to stick with a weight-loss or exercise program," says Nathan DeWall, PhD, assistant professor of social psychology at the University of Kentucky in Lexington. We asked leaders in the field of self-regulation (that's scientist-speak for self-control) to share simple exercises that will bolster your resolve. Soon you'll be the one trading daiquiris for Diet Cokes and rising with the sun to do your morning run.
1. Boost Your Brain Power
"Meditation requires you to tap all of the self-regulation systems in your brain as well as the self-monitoring mechanism," says Kelly McGonigal, PhD, a health psychologist at Stanford University and author of the forthcoming The Willpower Instinct. Every time you meditate, you use two important parts of your brain: the prefrontal cortex, which helps you make smart choices, and the anterior cingulate cortex, which helps you be aware of when you make such choices and when you don't. The more you activate these systems, the more powerful they become, so in the future it will feel easier to do the right thing. "Eventually you will start to notice whenever you are doing something that is inconsistent with your goals," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: Meditate for just one minute every day this week. Here's how to get started: Sit quietly with your eyes closed and count your breaths. When you reach 10, begin again. Whenever your mind wanders from your breath, start again at one. Work up to five minutes a day.
2. Be a Skeptical DreamerWhen it comes to goal setting, are you: (a) a wishful thinker (you fantasize about wearing your skinny jeans again) or (b) a complainer (you focus on how hard it is to resist food at parties and worry that people will think you are no fun)? Either of these attitudes can derail you on your way to your goal, but oddly enough, adopting both at once may have the opposite effect. People who imagine succeeding and then reflect on the obstacles facing them are more inspired to reach a goal than those who do solely one or the other, researchers from New York University in New York City and the University of Hamburg in Germany discovered.
Work Your Will: Have a weight loss goal? Imagine how good you'll feel when you fit into your old jeans. Feel them sliding effortlessly over your hips; hear your friend telling you how great you look. Now think about what stands in the way: the office vending machine at 2 p.m.; skipping your morning run because you stayed out too late the night before; or, you know, just cheese. Now you're ready for the next self-control sculptor: Create an if-then game plan.
3. Play the "What if?" GameDevising a plan B helps you cope with situations that may undo you (cocktails on Friday night) because it shifts the decision-making moment from the danger zone (when the bartender asks if you would like one more mojito) to a point in time when you're in touch with what you want to achieve (before you even set foot in the bar). That's what New York University researchers discovered in their study of students who wanted to eat less junk food. When the students thought through tempting scenarios in advance and made if-then plans specifying how to overcome these temptations, it was easier for them to stick to their healthy choices later.
Work Your Will: Jot down the obstacles on the road to your skinny jeans, then write down an if-then plan for sidestepping each one.
4. Make Healthy Decisions EasierPractice reframing the choices you give yourself. When faced with a doughnut, don't ask yourself "Do I want that chocolate-frosted or not?" The only reward in that equation is the doughnut, and our bodies have been hard-wired over years of evolution to seek rewards such as food and sex to keep us alive. "When the brain identifies a reward, it shifts into a state of intense focus and drive," says McGonigal. You can use that drive to your advantage simply by changing the reward in any given situation. Make the choice "Do I want to be one more step closer to my dream body or not?" "It's easier to go after something you want than something you don't want," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: When temptation strikes, ID a positive reward that will help you sidestep it. If a friend invites you to happy hour but you're trying to cut back on empty calories, change the focus from food to friendship. There's no law that says you must drink three martinis so that you can hang with your pals. Order a seltzer and start slinging the gossip; that's really what you wanted anyway!
5. See Temptation in a New LightIn the 1960s, self-control researchers at Stanford University made a groundbreaking discovery: You can keep four-year-olds from gobbling sweets by giving them a new perspective. Walter Mischel, PhD, now professor of psychology at Columbia University, left kids alone in a room with a marshmallow that they were told not to eat in order to get two marshmallows later. Most kids found it almost impossible to wait. If before leaving the room the researcher suggested that the children focus on qualities the treat possessed that didn't make their mouths water -- that it was puffy and white, like a cloud or a cotton ball, for example -- they were able to hold off twice as long before chowing down. Adults can reframe temptations, too.
Work Your Will: Squash cravings by steering your thoughts away from how yummy a food is. When you see a cupcake, focus on its gorgeous decoration instead of how delicious that frosting must be. At a friend's party, think about how much work she put into that guacamole, not how awesome it would be on a tortilla chip. What if you're at a restaurant and your companions want to share dessert? When the apple tart arrives, taking time to appreciate the presentation will defeat the impulse to dig in immediately.
6. Be Your Own Best FriendIf you learn to treat yourself with kindness when you experience a setback, it will be easier to get back on track after a moment of weakness. "People who blow their diet and then beat themselves up about it actually eat more, because they feel so bad about themselves," says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin.
Work Your Will: "We know how to encourage other people and build up their confidence," Neff says. What would you do if a friend were upset that she had skipped her workouts for a week? You'd give her a hug, tell her a week isn't so bad, and encourage her to go to the gym the next day. Chances are you're not nearly as supportive of yourself when it comes to slip-ups. "A lot of people don't realize how critical their self-talk is," Neff says. Learn to be your own cheerleader: Write down the things you say to yourself when you fall short of your goals, then rewrite them as if you were talking to a pal. And while you're at it, figure out what you're going to say when your friends ask you the secret of your rock-solid willpower.
Read more: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/6-ways-to-supersize-your-self-control-2550163/
"Dessert? I'm too full from dinner."
"Sorry, can't make happy hour; I'm off to Spinning class."
We all know a friend who seems immune to the siren song of cocktails, cupcakes, and canapes. Wouldn't you like to know her secret? Shh...She's found a new muscle to flex: her willpower. That's right. Researchers have found that you can chisel your self-control just as you do your quads or biceps. "With practice your self-control muscle becomes less flabby, so you have the strength you need to stick with a weight-loss or exercise program," says Nathan DeWall, PhD, assistant professor of social psychology at the University of Kentucky in Lexington. We asked leaders in the field of self-regulation (that's scientist-speak for self-control) to share simple exercises that will bolster your resolve. Soon you'll be the one trading daiquiris for Diet Cokes and rising with the sun to do your morning run.
1. Boost Your Brain Power
"Meditation requires you to tap all of the self-regulation systems in your brain as well as the self-monitoring mechanism," says Kelly McGonigal, PhD, a health psychologist at Stanford University and author of the forthcoming The Willpower Instinct. Every time you meditate, you use two important parts of your brain: the prefrontal cortex, which helps you make smart choices, and the anterior cingulate cortex, which helps you be aware of when you make such choices and when you don't. The more you activate these systems, the more powerful they become, so in the future it will feel easier to do the right thing. "Eventually you will start to notice whenever you are doing something that is inconsistent with your goals," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: Meditate for just one minute every day this week. Here's how to get started: Sit quietly with your eyes closed and count your breaths. When you reach 10, begin again. Whenever your mind wanders from your breath, start again at one. Work up to five minutes a day.
2. Be a Skeptical DreamerWhen it comes to goal setting, are you: (a) a wishful thinker (you fantasize about wearing your skinny jeans again) or (b) a complainer (you focus on how hard it is to resist food at parties and worry that people will think you are no fun)? Either of these attitudes can derail you on your way to your goal, but oddly enough, adopting both at once may have the opposite effect. People who imagine succeeding and then reflect on the obstacles facing them are more inspired to reach a goal than those who do solely one or the other, researchers from New York University in New York City and the University of Hamburg in Germany discovered.
Work Your Will: Have a weight loss goal? Imagine how good you'll feel when you fit into your old jeans. Feel them sliding effortlessly over your hips; hear your friend telling you how great you look. Now think about what stands in the way: the office vending machine at 2 p.m.; skipping your morning run because you stayed out too late the night before; or, you know, just cheese. Now you're ready for the next self-control sculptor: Create an if-then game plan.
3. Play the "What if?" GameDevising a plan B helps you cope with situations that may undo you (cocktails on Friday night) because it shifts the decision-making moment from the danger zone (when the bartender asks if you would like one more mojito) to a point in time when you're in touch with what you want to achieve (before you even set foot in the bar). That's what New York University researchers discovered in their study of students who wanted to eat less junk food. When the students thought through tempting scenarios in advance and made if-then plans specifying how to overcome these temptations, it was easier for them to stick to their healthy choices later.
Work Your Will: Jot down the obstacles on the road to your skinny jeans, then write down an if-then plan for sidestepping each one.
4. Make Healthy Decisions EasierPractice reframing the choices you give yourself. When faced with a doughnut, don't ask yourself "Do I want that chocolate-frosted or not?" The only reward in that equation is the doughnut, and our bodies have been hard-wired over years of evolution to seek rewards such as food and sex to keep us alive. "When the brain identifies a reward, it shifts into a state of intense focus and drive," says McGonigal. You can use that drive to your advantage simply by changing the reward in any given situation. Make the choice "Do I want to be one more step closer to my dream body or not?" "It's easier to go after something you want than something you don't want," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: When temptation strikes, ID a positive reward that will help you sidestep it. If a friend invites you to happy hour but you're trying to cut back on empty calories, change the focus from food to friendship. There's no law that says you must drink three martinis so that you can hang with your pals. Order a seltzer and start slinging the gossip; that's really what you wanted anyway!
5. See Temptation in a New LightIn the 1960s, self-control researchers at Stanford University made a groundbreaking discovery: You can keep four-year-olds from gobbling sweets by giving them a new perspective. Walter Mischel, PhD, now professor of psychology at Columbia University, left kids alone in a room with a marshmallow that they were told not to eat in order to get two marshmallows later. Most kids found it almost impossible to wait. If before leaving the room the researcher suggested that the children focus on qualities the treat possessed that didn't make their mouths water -- that it was puffy and white, like a cloud or a cotton ball, for example -- they were able to hold off twice as long before chowing down. Adults can reframe temptations, too.
Work Your Will: Squash cravings by steering your thoughts away from how yummy a food is. When you see a cupcake, focus on its gorgeous decoration instead of how delicious that frosting must be. At a friend's party, think about how much work she put into that guacamole, not how awesome it would be on a tortilla chip. What if you're at a restaurant and your companions want to share dessert? When the apple tart arrives, taking time to appreciate the presentation will defeat the impulse to dig in immediately.
6. Be Your Own Best FriendIf you learn to treat yourself with kindness when you experience a setback, it will be easier to get back on track after a moment of weakness. "People who blow their diet and then beat themselves up about it actually eat more, because they feel so bad about themselves," says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin.
Work Your Will: "We know how to encourage other people and build up their confidence," Neff says. What would you do if a friend were upset that she had skipped her workouts for a week? You'd give her a hug, tell her a week isn't so bad, and encourage her to go to the gym the next day. Chances are you're not nearly as supportive of yourself when it comes to slip-ups. "A lot of people don't realize how critical their self-talk is," Neff says. Learn to be your own cheerleader: Write down the things you say to yourself when you fall short of your goals, then rewrite them as if you were talking to a pal. And while you're at it, figure out what you're going to say when your friends ask you the secret of your rock-solid willpower.
Read more: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/6-ways-to-supersize-your-self-control-2550163/
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