Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dating sucks way more than an Electrolux.

Dating sucks and nobody finds it easy. If most people hate it, then why do we do it? Is there another way to meet up with a life partner, other than going through the trials and tribulations of dating?

Here's a thought. Let's look at animals, as humans are really just a slightly more advanced form of animal. Take dogs for instance. They don't date at all. When the bitch is ovulating, she gives off a scent that attracts every randy dog in the neighbourhood. She lifts her tail, the dogs sniff her posterior end, get an erection, mount her and bonk away until climax, then leave, never to see her again.

Imagine, if we were like dogs. If some perfume factory managed to create a special scent called 'Ovulation Scent.' When a woman knew she was ovulating, she'd spray herself with Ovulation Scent and walk down the road. Soon, males from all over will be following her and only the strongest will get near her. He'd have to sniff her nether regions, whip out his erection and fornicate madly, before zipping up and going back to work. This could do wonders for the motel industry, in case people don't fancy just doing it on the street.

Physiotherapists and masseuses will also make a fortune as many men will put their backs out when bending at the waist to sniff a woman. All this increased business - perfume companies, hotels and physiotherapists, might also create more job opportunities and ease the global credit crisis. People will be more relaxed - women because they'll only be having sex when they're in the mood, and men - because they'll be getting plenty of action as they'll continually encounter women wearing 'Ovulation Scent.' This could be something to look for in the future.

Seriously, dating is not that great. There has to be another way not yet discovered. People shouldn't have to endure awkward uncomfortable moments, just to meet a partner. The fact that so many people hate dating, has to say something.  Dating sucks way more than an Electrolux.

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