Dating sucks way more than an Electrolux.

Dating sucks and nobody finds it easy. If most people hate it, then why do we do it? Is there another way to meet up with a life partner, other than going through the trials and tribulations of dating?

Here's a thought. Let's look at animals, as humans are really just a slightly more advanced form of animal. Take dogs for instance. They don't date at all. When the bitch is ovulating, she gives off a scent that attracts every randy dog in the neighbourhood. She lifts her tail, the dogs sniff her posterior end, get an erection, mount her and bonk away until climax, then leave, never to see her again.

Imagine, if we were like dogs. If some perfume factory managed to create a special scent called 'Ovulation Scent.' When a woman knew she was ovulating, she'd spray herself with Ovulation Scent and walk down the road. Soon, males from all over will be following her and only the strongest will get near her. He'd have to sniff her nether regions, whip out his erection and fornicate madly, before zipping up and going back to work. This could do wonders for the motel industry, in case people don't fancy just doing it on the street.

Physiotherapists and masseuses will also make a fortune as many men will put their backs out when bending at the waist to sniff a woman. All this increased business - perfume companies, hotels and physiotherapists, might also create more job opportunities and ease the global credit crisis. People will be more relaxed - women because they'll only be having sex when they're in the mood, and men - because they'll be getting plenty of action as they'll continually encounter women wearing 'Ovulation Scent.' This could be something to look for in the future.

Seriously, dating is not that great. There has to be another way not yet discovered. People shouldn't have to endure awkward uncomfortable moments, just to meet a partner. The fact that so many people hate dating, has to say something.  Dating sucks way more than an Electrolux.

Read more: http://cindyvine.hubpages.com/hub/Why-DATING-SUCKS-like-an-Electrolux

The Stages of Love

Magnetism
When you first meet, you are attracted to certain characteristics that match your unconscious template of a partner. This includes personality traits, movements, gestures and attitudes. You may feel that you already know your "soulmate." In your delight and excitement, you are often oblivious to what else is happening. Your feelings of affection and sexuality are intense.

You often say that you have good "chemistry." And actually, during this time of attraction, scientists say you are producing various chemicals that cause flushed skin, quickening pulse, and heavy breathing.

Ecstasy
As you get to know your partner, you savor your time together. You have a feeling of oneness. You cherish the idea that your lover adores you all the time. This "falling in love" stage is sometimes referred to as limerence or passionate love. You're unaware that you've actually fallen in love with a fantasy (not the reality) of your partner.

During this time you notice various qualities about your lover and you, and will probably assume that your partner will always be thoughtful, kind, happy, agreeable, helpful, and caring. If certain traits are absent, you may assume they will be there if needed. Or, if you observe some negative traits, you may assume love will change your partner.

As you deepen your connection, additional chemicals are being released (including phenylethylamine, norepinephrine, and probably dopamine), producing a "natural high." Sharing all of yourself with your lover feels comforting. You feel elated, euphoric, and exhilarated. You can stay up all night talking and making love. You're sure that the two of you will "live happily ever after."

Unfortunately, over time (from two months to two years), your body tapers off its production of these stimulating chemicals and your euphoria wanes.

Reality
Although you're unaware that your chemistry is changing, you no longer feel as ecstatic nor passionate. You begin to see the reality of your lover, including the negative traits you overlooked before. Because your lover is human (and not ideal) you become disenchanted. You experience shock, confusion, disappointment, irritation, and fear. You may begin arguing. In the struggle for power, you may try to coerce your lover to change. You may "grit your teeth and bear it." Or, you may withdraw and sulk. You become resentful and bitter. You believe your partner has changed, that you've "grown apart" and that you have "fallen out of love." You may have even doubt your original love.

Although your partner may have changed slightly, in reality your perceptions and your feelings of affection have changed more significantly. At this point, with the loss of your fantasy and your dwindling euphoria, you relationship may end.

Loving
But, if you can adjust to the foibles of each other, you might be able to enter the phase of real loving in which you abandon abandon your fantasy and learn the truth about your partner. You also explore common goal setting, communication, and problem solving. Compassionate love is when we care for others as they are, as well as support their growth. In the context of real love, you can create a respectful, supportive, satisfying and sustainable relationship.

You notice there's room for individual differences, for personal growth, as well as for a connection. You can see that problems can be viewed as opportunities for growth.

As you learn over time to love the whole person of the other and feel reciprocal love in return, the brain releases endorphins, which are like edogeneous morphine. These chemicals produce a general sense of well-being, including feeling soothed, peaceful, and secure. Additionally, during lovemaking, oxytocin is released, producing feelings of satisfaction and attachment.

Although this final phase is not as stimulating and ecstatic as the first two stages, it can be extremely satisfying. As you learn more about the natural development of love, you can create and sustain a fulfilling and enduring relationship.

http://gettingtheloveyouwant.com/therapists/Articles/FallindsndStayinginLoveJoanMiller.htm

Day 16: Dating Detox

 Yesterday was a very good day. I got many things accomplished, and even did a little day dreaming with my head in the clouds. My mood is apparently elevating. Could it be all of the stairs I'm climbing at 10:30am or the weight training or the fact that I just want to get up and move? Maybe so I also started drinking 2 tablespoons of Bragg Organic Apple Cider Vinegar in 16oz of water before every meal. I tried it with honey and then without the honey this morning. Whichever way you slice it, I gotta down it either way, so I prefer not to have the added sugar in my water. The greatest thing about this is that it completely fills you up. And after tasting the vinegar, though you do want to rince your mouth out, you really don't want to consume anything. And since it regulates and evens out your glucose levels in the body, you stay full for a long time! Today's goal: hit the stairs and go one flight higher, which I've consecutively done for 3 days now; weight train legs, shoulders and abs; clean up around the house. Bring on the weekend! I'm excited to be watching the game tomorrow with my best friend Shannon and Tommy in their neck of the woods. Whoohoo!

Day 15: Dating Detox

Yesterday was actually a much better day then days I have had in a long time. I guess it was the talking to and playing of the golden tee that made me start the day with such good spirits. I got unresolved issues at work solved, and I even volunteered to do the safety minute in our meeting this morning. The moral to the safety minute, "Do not use electric trimmers to trim your eyebrows, as you might cut off several eyelashes, as I did, or hurt your eye!" Ok, it was more than several eyelashes, but moving on. I finally went to the doctor to talk about all of the issues surrounding my life at the moment, and I got some much needed prescriptions filled. I had a wonderful afternoon sitting outside in the glorious weather and had great conversation. I met a man named Joe, who shared some of his life story and talked about being in love for 30 years. All-in-all, I would say it was a lovely day. The only issue I had was waiting for over an hour to get my prescription only to find out that my doctor had to talk to my insurance company to get the drug approved for coverage. Oh well, I will make the best out of my day today! What's to come? Jersey Shore baby! 'Party's here!'

Day 14: Dating Detox

I had a successful yesterday afternoon, and I actually found some of the old Aimee in doing it. It's hard to keep it all together after a breakup. I felt and still feel extremely lonesome. I have had problems taking charge of my life and doing the things grown up people have to do. Because of this, I have had consequences and ramifications that I am still having to deal with. So, to actually accomplish my goals yesterday, I instilled some confidence back into my life. I had a tough workout. I went home after work and did chores, had some food, took care of the animals, did several loads of laundry, and even got myself ready to go to meet my gorgeous man-friend to play some golden tee. I don't think Patti would have a problem with our flirtatiousness, but we did flirt most of the night. Who could have helped it?! But when we walked each other to our cars, our chemistry took over. Yes, we kissed, alright! I'm not even sure who started it, though he would say I did. And, we kissed so passionately that it so could have landed us in the bedroom. But, we went home like good little children. I have to say that it felt so good that I don't know how we stopped.

And then there was the rest of my night. When I get home I realize that the stupid ex-boyfriend has been blowing my phone up. I was supposed to send him a package with his mail, and he's threatening me that the IRS is going to come after me for not giving him the mail. I exploded. I text him that the IRS was not going to come back on me after he owes them from 2006, well before we started dating, and if he was so concerned that he should have just contacted them for the information he needs. That was so not my fault. He has been constantly contacting me non-stop all night and all morning, and I have continued to avoid him. Oh yeah wait, and he wants to come to see me. Idiot. I told him that I do not want to see him, and that I have mailed him his mail, and that I'm done. If I'm forced, I will block his number. So far, so good. UGH! Two steps forward, two steps back....isn't that what Paula Abdul taught us back in the early 90s?

And on another positive, sometimes blogging can be as beneficial as talking to a counselor! It feels really good sometimes to just get things off of your chest.

Day 13: Dating Detox

After a long, great conversation with someone I love so much, he knows who he is, we have formulated a plan for me to take baby steps in the right direction. One of the biggest problems I face, in being a social butterfly, is that my first thoughts in the afternoon are not going straight home from work. I work with some great people, but in order to just focus, I have headphones on all day listening to either recorded tv or music. Consequently, when I leave work, I know I have things to do at home, but I put them off for some interaction with, who I thought for a while were, my "real" friends. Sadly, in the past weekend I had a hard lesson to learn, and I now know who truly stands behind me. So, as my great friend pointed out, I need to spend time working on my physical body by being active, go home in the evenings to take care of business, and if I need to later on in the evening, go out to see friends. Plus, on the weekends, I need to continue to sorround myself with the people that love me the most, my family. I feel good about this. I feel good about taking back my life, stop feeling sorry for myself, and learning to be a responsible homeowner again. Time to get my hands dirty and accomplish some positive things in my life!

Day 12: Dating Detox

So, I have had some rough days this weekend. I'm not in the greatest of places, and I find myself wondering how it is that I'm going to get out of my funk. The one really great goal I have right now, besides the obvious, is my 90 eating/workout plan. My BFF is motivating me to just work though today and give it all I've got. I still feel like nothing is in order: mentally, physically or emotionally. So, it looks like my projects for today will be working on my physical body through proper nutrition (I didn't eat anything pretty much over the weekend due to depression), physical exercise and cleaning out a portion of the house. That ought to make a girl feel better, right?! One can hope. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to my wonderfully cheery self. Guess we will have to see.