So, I started reading Patti Stanger's Become Your Own Matchmaker today, and I'm committing to Patti's plan. I have been in a relationship for two and a half years, which means I have to be on Dating Detox for 60 days. I have to admit I was slightly stunned by this since he and I broke up a few months ago, but considering I was going to secretively run away with the guy and get married just to stay together, I kind of find it refreshing to "date myself for 60 days!"
I have to admit, in this day and age, going without physical connection from another person might just kill me, but Patti knows her stuff, so I'm going to commit to this whether I like it or not. I know I have to let the past go and discover exactly what I want so I can recognize it when it walks into my life. So, here we go Patti!
Day 1: Because I'm such an incredible student, I probably read too much too soon. I know this is not necessarily in my best interest, but I have to know what the road map looks like. And, if I'm not allowed to date, or fulfill any of my sexual desires by another party, I have to consider why I'm giving it up. I've seen enough episodes to know there is no sex before an exclusive relationship, and since I'm dating myself, I'm kind of screwed in that department for many months. But since she's the relationship guru, I'm willing to do what it takes to meet my soul mate.
So, I vow to bring you guys along this journey of mine for 60 days. Patti is right, the second you exude happiness and declare no sex, it brings itself to you. It's like a drug addict wanting to be sober, but the dealer always finds his way to you. Tonight in hanging with two of my best friends, one guy and one girl, my guy BFF tells me he's going skinny dipping after dinner. I so wanted to go and even said, "I'm in!" when my girl BFF said, "Aimee, this is not a good idea!" And, she was right. I've committed to being by myself for at least 60 days, and until I have found my soul mate and we are exclusive, I will not be having any sexual activity of any kind.
So dear friends and followers, I am looking forward to some encouragement. I've never been a person to deny myself of anything. And, though I'm sort of scared of this challenge, I will somehow make it work. Patti knows her shit! I will check in daily because this is the only way I can account for any feelings/desires/wishes I may encounter on this journey. I hope everyone is supportive, and I apprecate any help in becoming a strong, non-sexual, woman in the next, which feels like forever, several months.
Sincerely,
Aimee
Cheers to ME and my sweet self for 60 days!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
6 Ways to Supersize Your Self-Control
"No mimosa for me. I have to go running after brunch."
"Dessert? I'm too full from dinner."
"Sorry, can't make happy hour; I'm off to Spinning class."
We all know a friend who seems immune to the siren song of cocktails, cupcakes, and canapes. Wouldn't you like to know her secret? Shh...She's found a new muscle to flex: her willpower. That's right. Researchers have found that you can chisel your self-control just as you do your quads or biceps. "With practice your self-control muscle becomes less flabby, so you have the strength you need to stick with a weight-loss or exercise program," says Nathan DeWall, PhD, assistant professor of social psychology at the University of Kentucky in Lexington. We asked leaders in the field of self-regulation (that's scientist-speak for self-control) to share simple exercises that will bolster your resolve. Soon you'll be the one trading daiquiris for Diet Cokes and rising with the sun to do your morning run.
1. Boost Your Brain Power
"Meditation requires you to tap all of the self-regulation systems in your brain as well as the self-monitoring mechanism," says Kelly McGonigal, PhD, a health psychologist at Stanford University and author of the forthcoming The Willpower Instinct. Every time you meditate, you use two important parts of your brain: the prefrontal cortex, which helps you make smart choices, and the anterior cingulate cortex, which helps you be aware of when you make such choices and when you don't. The more you activate these systems, the more powerful they become, so in the future it will feel easier to do the right thing. "Eventually you will start to notice whenever you are doing something that is inconsistent with your goals," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: Meditate for just one minute every day this week. Here's how to get started: Sit quietly with your eyes closed and count your breaths. When you reach 10, begin again. Whenever your mind wanders from your breath, start again at one. Work up to five minutes a day.
2. Be a Skeptical DreamerWhen it comes to goal setting, are you: (a) a wishful thinker (you fantasize about wearing your skinny jeans again) or (b) a complainer (you focus on how hard it is to resist food at parties and worry that people will think you are no fun)? Either of these attitudes can derail you on your way to your goal, but oddly enough, adopting both at once may have the opposite effect. People who imagine succeeding and then reflect on the obstacles facing them are more inspired to reach a goal than those who do solely one or the other, researchers from New York University in New York City and the University of Hamburg in Germany discovered.
Work Your Will: Have a weight loss goal? Imagine how good you'll feel when you fit into your old jeans. Feel them sliding effortlessly over your hips; hear your friend telling you how great you look. Now think about what stands in the way: the office vending machine at 2 p.m.; skipping your morning run because you stayed out too late the night before; or, you know, just cheese. Now you're ready for the next self-control sculptor: Create an if-then game plan.
3. Play the "What if?" GameDevising a plan B helps you cope with situations that may undo you (cocktails on Friday night) because it shifts the decision-making moment from the danger zone (when the bartender asks if you would like one more mojito) to a point in time when you're in touch with what you want to achieve (before you even set foot in the bar). That's what New York University researchers discovered in their study of students who wanted to eat less junk food. When the students thought through tempting scenarios in advance and made if-then plans specifying how to overcome these temptations, it was easier for them to stick to their healthy choices later.
Work Your Will: Jot down the obstacles on the road to your skinny jeans, then write down an if-then plan for sidestepping each one.
4. Make Healthy Decisions EasierPractice reframing the choices you give yourself. When faced with a doughnut, don't ask yourself "Do I want that chocolate-frosted or not?" The only reward in that equation is the doughnut, and our bodies have been hard-wired over years of evolution to seek rewards such as food and sex to keep us alive. "When the brain identifies a reward, it shifts into a state of intense focus and drive," says McGonigal. You can use that drive to your advantage simply by changing the reward in any given situation. Make the choice "Do I want to be one more step closer to my dream body or not?" "It's easier to go after something you want than something you don't want," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: When temptation strikes, ID a positive reward that will help you sidestep it. If a friend invites you to happy hour but you're trying to cut back on empty calories, change the focus from food to friendship. There's no law that says you must drink three martinis so that you can hang with your pals. Order a seltzer and start slinging the gossip; that's really what you wanted anyway!
5. See Temptation in a New LightIn the 1960s, self-control researchers at Stanford University made a groundbreaking discovery: You can keep four-year-olds from gobbling sweets by giving them a new perspective. Walter Mischel, PhD, now professor of psychology at Columbia University, left kids alone in a room with a marshmallow that they were told not to eat in order to get two marshmallows later. Most kids found it almost impossible to wait. If before leaving the room the researcher suggested that the children focus on qualities the treat possessed that didn't make their mouths water -- that it was puffy and white, like a cloud or a cotton ball, for example -- they were able to hold off twice as long before chowing down. Adults can reframe temptations, too.
Work Your Will: Squash cravings by steering your thoughts away from how yummy a food is. When you see a cupcake, focus on its gorgeous decoration instead of how delicious that frosting must be. At a friend's party, think about how much work she put into that guacamole, not how awesome it would be on a tortilla chip. What if you're at a restaurant and your companions want to share dessert? When the apple tart arrives, taking time to appreciate the presentation will defeat the impulse to dig in immediately.
6. Be Your Own Best FriendIf you learn to treat yourself with kindness when you experience a setback, it will be easier to get back on track after a moment of weakness. "People who blow their diet and then beat themselves up about it actually eat more, because they feel so bad about themselves," says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin.
Work Your Will: "We know how to encourage other people and build up their confidence," Neff says. What would you do if a friend were upset that she had skipped her workouts for a week? You'd give her a hug, tell her a week isn't so bad, and encourage her to go to the gym the next day. Chances are you're not nearly as supportive of yourself when it comes to slip-ups. "A lot of people don't realize how critical their self-talk is," Neff says. Learn to be your own cheerleader: Write down the things you say to yourself when you fall short of your goals, then rewrite them as if you were talking to a pal. And while you're at it, figure out what you're going to say when your friends ask you the secret of your rock-solid willpower.
Read more: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/6-ways-to-supersize-your-self-control-2550163/
"Dessert? I'm too full from dinner."
"Sorry, can't make happy hour; I'm off to Spinning class."
We all know a friend who seems immune to the siren song of cocktails, cupcakes, and canapes. Wouldn't you like to know her secret? Shh...She's found a new muscle to flex: her willpower. That's right. Researchers have found that you can chisel your self-control just as you do your quads or biceps. "With practice your self-control muscle becomes less flabby, so you have the strength you need to stick with a weight-loss or exercise program," says Nathan DeWall, PhD, assistant professor of social psychology at the University of Kentucky in Lexington. We asked leaders in the field of self-regulation (that's scientist-speak for self-control) to share simple exercises that will bolster your resolve. Soon you'll be the one trading daiquiris for Diet Cokes and rising with the sun to do your morning run.
1. Boost Your Brain Power
"Meditation requires you to tap all of the self-regulation systems in your brain as well as the self-monitoring mechanism," says Kelly McGonigal, PhD, a health psychologist at Stanford University and author of the forthcoming The Willpower Instinct. Every time you meditate, you use two important parts of your brain: the prefrontal cortex, which helps you make smart choices, and the anterior cingulate cortex, which helps you be aware of when you make such choices and when you don't. The more you activate these systems, the more powerful they become, so in the future it will feel easier to do the right thing. "Eventually you will start to notice whenever you are doing something that is inconsistent with your goals," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: Meditate for just one minute every day this week. Here's how to get started: Sit quietly with your eyes closed and count your breaths. When you reach 10, begin again. Whenever your mind wanders from your breath, start again at one. Work up to five minutes a day.
2. Be a Skeptical DreamerWhen it comes to goal setting, are you: (a) a wishful thinker (you fantasize about wearing your skinny jeans again) or (b) a complainer (you focus on how hard it is to resist food at parties and worry that people will think you are no fun)? Either of these attitudes can derail you on your way to your goal, but oddly enough, adopting both at once may have the opposite effect. People who imagine succeeding and then reflect on the obstacles facing them are more inspired to reach a goal than those who do solely one or the other, researchers from New York University in New York City and the University of Hamburg in Germany discovered.
Work Your Will: Have a weight loss goal? Imagine how good you'll feel when you fit into your old jeans. Feel them sliding effortlessly over your hips; hear your friend telling you how great you look. Now think about what stands in the way: the office vending machine at 2 p.m.; skipping your morning run because you stayed out too late the night before; or, you know, just cheese. Now you're ready for the next self-control sculptor: Create an if-then game plan.
3. Play the "What if?" GameDevising a plan B helps you cope with situations that may undo you (cocktails on Friday night) because it shifts the decision-making moment from the danger zone (when the bartender asks if you would like one more mojito) to a point in time when you're in touch with what you want to achieve (before you even set foot in the bar). That's what New York University researchers discovered in their study of students who wanted to eat less junk food. When the students thought through tempting scenarios in advance and made if-then plans specifying how to overcome these temptations, it was easier for them to stick to their healthy choices later.
Work Your Will: Jot down the obstacles on the road to your skinny jeans, then write down an if-then plan for sidestepping each one.
4. Make Healthy Decisions EasierPractice reframing the choices you give yourself. When faced with a doughnut, don't ask yourself "Do I want that chocolate-frosted or not?" The only reward in that equation is the doughnut, and our bodies have been hard-wired over years of evolution to seek rewards such as food and sex to keep us alive. "When the brain identifies a reward, it shifts into a state of intense focus and drive," says McGonigal. You can use that drive to your advantage simply by changing the reward in any given situation. Make the choice "Do I want to be one more step closer to my dream body or not?" "It's easier to go after something you want than something you don't want," McGonigal says.
Work Your Will: When temptation strikes, ID a positive reward that will help you sidestep it. If a friend invites you to happy hour but you're trying to cut back on empty calories, change the focus from food to friendship. There's no law that says you must drink three martinis so that you can hang with your pals. Order a seltzer and start slinging the gossip; that's really what you wanted anyway!
5. See Temptation in a New LightIn the 1960s, self-control researchers at Stanford University made a groundbreaking discovery: You can keep four-year-olds from gobbling sweets by giving them a new perspective. Walter Mischel, PhD, now professor of psychology at Columbia University, left kids alone in a room with a marshmallow that they were told not to eat in order to get two marshmallows later. Most kids found it almost impossible to wait. If before leaving the room the researcher suggested that the children focus on qualities the treat possessed that didn't make their mouths water -- that it was puffy and white, like a cloud or a cotton ball, for example -- they were able to hold off twice as long before chowing down. Adults can reframe temptations, too.
Work Your Will: Squash cravings by steering your thoughts away from how yummy a food is. When you see a cupcake, focus on its gorgeous decoration instead of how delicious that frosting must be. At a friend's party, think about how much work she put into that guacamole, not how awesome it would be on a tortilla chip. What if you're at a restaurant and your companions want to share dessert? When the apple tart arrives, taking time to appreciate the presentation will defeat the impulse to dig in immediately.
6. Be Your Own Best FriendIf you learn to treat yourself with kindness when you experience a setback, it will be easier to get back on track after a moment of weakness. "People who blow their diet and then beat themselves up about it actually eat more, because they feel so bad about themselves," says Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in human development and culture at the University of Texas at Austin.
Work Your Will: "We know how to encourage other people and build up their confidence," Neff says. What would you do if a friend were upset that she had skipped her workouts for a week? You'd give her a hug, tell her a week isn't so bad, and encourage her to go to the gym the next day. Chances are you're not nearly as supportive of yourself when it comes to slip-ups. "A lot of people don't realize how critical their self-talk is," Neff says. Learn to be your own cheerleader: Write down the things you say to yourself when you fall short of your goals, then rewrite them as if you were talking to a pal. And while you're at it, figure out what you're going to say when your friends ask you the secret of your rock-solid willpower.
Read more: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/6-ways-to-supersize-your-self-control-2550163/
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Lose Weight Fast: How to Do It Safely
You've heard it time and again: fad diets don't work for permanent weight loss. But what about those times when you really need to lose some weight fast? It's hard to pass up the promise of crash diets like the Lemonade Diet, Cabbage Soup Diet, or Lose 21 Pounds in 21 Days when your mission is to squeeze into a new outfit in time for a reunion, wedding, or other special event.
So what's wrong with dropping 20 pounds fast so you can wow your friends and family with a svelte new shape?
The truth is that nothing is wrong with losing weight rapidly -- as long you do it the right way, says Michael Dansinger, MD. He's the medical doctor for NBC's The Biggest Loser show, which spotlights quick and dramatic weight loss.
"In theory, one could drop as much as 20 pounds in a week following a very ambitious eating and exercise plan, devoting more than seven hours per week to rigorous exercise, and under a physician's care like we do on the television program," he says.
But even if you can't drop everything to go to weight loss "boot camp," you can safely lose 3 or more pounds a week at home with a healthy diet and lots of exercise, says weight loss counselor Katherine Tallmadge, RD.
If you want to lose weight faster, you'll need to eat less and exercise more. Bottom line: 1,050 to 1,200 calories and one hour of exercise a day (but be sure not to dip below this calorie level for safety's sake). On this type of plan, you can expect to lose 3-5 pounds the first week, or more if you weigh over 250 pounds.
"Dieters who follow the plan can lose 2 pounds from diet and 1 pound from exercise each week, and even more if they have more to lose, because the more fat you have to lose, the faster it comes off," says Dansinger.
You may lose even more weight initially if you limit salt and starches. "When you reduce sodium and cut starches, you reduce fluids and fluid retention, which can result in up to 5 pounds of fluid loss when you get started," explains Dansinger.
When it comes to weight loss, calories count the most, says Dansinger. He recommends cutting back to a daily level of 7 calories per pound of your current body weight (which for a 200-pound person, for example, would be 1,400 calories), but no less than 1,050 calories/day (the lowest level that can be done safely at home). Dietitians more typically recommend 1,200 calories as a daily minimum.
Dansinger advocates a diet that minimizes starches, (even healthy whole grains should be controlled), added sugars, and animal fat from meat and dairy foods. For rapid weight loss, dieters should eat mainly fruits, veggies, egg whites, soy products, skinless poultry breasts, fish, shellfish, nonfat dairy foods, and 95% lean meat.
"Cardio burns the most calories, so it is ideal for fast weight loss, but afterwards you need to include a few hours a week of strength training," he says. To burn the most fat, try to break a sweat after your warm-up and keep sweating for the entire hour, says Dansinger.
Most everyone can do an hour a day, but the intensity of your workout will depend on your current state of fitness. Experts recommend gradually increasing exercise intensity to avoid injury.
When you can't do cardio, Tallmadge recommends doing strength training at least twice weekly, working all your major muscle groups, and fitting in at least 15,000 steps a day (get a pedometer to keep count).
Gidus suggests doubling up on your exercise routine: "Do a morning and evening workout for the fastest results."
Read more: http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/lose-weight-fast-how-to-do-it-safely
So what's wrong with dropping 20 pounds fast so you can wow your friends and family with a svelte new shape?
The truth is that nothing is wrong with losing weight rapidly -- as long you do it the right way, says Michael Dansinger, MD. He's the medical doctor for NBC's The Biggest Loser show, which spotlights quick and dramatic weight loss.
"In theory, one could drop as much as 20 pounds in a week following a very ambitious eating and exercise plan, devoting more than seven hours per week to rigorous exercise, and under a physician's care like we do on the television program," he says.
But even if you can't drop everything to go to weight loss "boot camp," you can safely lose 3 or more pounds a week at home with a healthy diet and lots of exercise, says weight loss counselor Katherine Tallmadge, RD.
How to Lose Weight Fast
Losing weight is a simple mathematical formula: You need to burn more calories than you eat. Experts generally recommend creating a deficit of 500 calories per day through a combination of eating fewer calories and increasing physical activity. Over the course of a week, this should yield a loss of about 1-2 pounds of fat.If you want to lose weight faster, you'll need to eat less and exercise more. Bottom line: 1,050 to 1,200 calories and one hour of exercise a day (but be sure not to dip below this calorie level for safety's sake). On this type of plan, you can expect to lose 3-5 pounds the first week, or more if you weigh over 250 pounds.
"Dieters who follow the plan can lose 2 pounds from diet and 1 pound from exercise each week, and even more if they have more to lose, because the more fat you have to lose, the faster it comes off," says Dansinger.
You may lose even more weight initially if you limit salt and starches. "When you reduce sodium and cut starches, you reduce fluids and fluid retention, which can result in up to 5 pounds of fluid loss when you get started," explains Dansinger.
When it comes to weight loss, calories count the most, says Dansinger. He recommends cutting back to a daily level of 7 calories per pound of your current body weight (which for a 200-pound person, for example, would be 1,400 calories), but no less than 1,050 calories/day (the lowest level that can be done safely at home). Dietitians more typically recommend 1,200 calories as a daily minimum.
Dansinger advocates a diet that minimizes starches, (even healthy whole grains should be controlled), added sugars, and animal fat from meat and dairy foods. For rapid weight loss, dieters should eat mainly fruits, veggies, egg whites, soy products, skinless poultry breasts, fish, shellfish, nonfat dairy foods, and 95% lean meat.
"Cardio burns the most calories, so it is ideal for fast weight loss, but afterwards you need to include a few hours a week of strength training," he says. To burn the most fat, try to break a sweat after your warm-up and keep sweating for the entire hour, says Dansinger.
Most everyone can do an hour a day, but the intensity of your workout will depend on your current state of fitness. Experts recommend gradually increasing exercise intensity to avoid injury.
When you can't do cardio, Tallmadge recommends doing strength training at least twice weekly, working all your major muscle groups, and fitting in at least 15,000 steps a day (get a pedometer to keep count).
Gidus suggests doubling up on your exercise routine: "Do a morning and evening workout for the fastest results."
Read more: http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/lose-weight-fast-how-to-do-it-safely
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Truly, madly, deeply: How love makes you sick
Rae Padilla Francoeur, 63, of Rockport, Maine, has been in plenty of passionate relationships before but when she met her current mate, she fell head over heels. Who’d have thought it would take a terrible toll on her health?
Francoeur, the author of “Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair,” says “the physical manifestations were extreme.” During the lovesick phase she became lightheaded, lost weight, couldn’t sleep for days, had butterflies and a quickened heart rate and couldn’t concentrate or eat. “I was happier than ever emotionally, even though I couldn’t eat and felt shaky all the time,” says Francoeur who also ended up with a year’s prescription for a prophylactic antibiotic for chronic urinary tract infections, too.
Scientists have since learned that a chemical cocktail of neurotransmitters — phenethylamine, dopamine, norepinephrine and oxytocin — are at work when we fall for someone. This powerful love potion is secreted when we feel that initial attraction and serves as an amphetamine, elevating our mood, keeping senses on high alert, and helping us bond with another person.
Falling in love affects your brain about the same way as smoking crack,” says Ethlie Ann Vare, author of “Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs. “It has essentially the same effect on what’s called the reward center of the brain.”
Once smitten, these “love” chemicals surge and their health effects are set in motion. Some people, like Francoeur, are particularly hard-hit. Here’s a few of love’s side effects. They don’t call it lovesick for nothing.
Can’t sleep : Having a hard time sleeping is a direct result of too much dopamine and norepinephrine. “You’re on a speed high,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, author of “Why Him, Why Her?” and a leading love researcher at Rutgers University. “This is why you have so much energy, why your face is flushed, and why you can walk till dawn and make love around the clock.” Francoeur says the first time she and her beloved were together they didn’t sleep for three nights. She then put in ten hour days at work. “I literally burnt the candle at both ends for two years.”
Can’t eat: Francoeur describes having lunch with a friend while lovestruck saying “she’s ordering everything on the menu and I can’t even swallow.” Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” to explain this crazy phase of infatuation. Limerence is the obsessive, intrusive, and all-consuming state we’re in where we justify letting work, friends, responsibilities — even ourselves — slide so we can satisfy our unquenchable thirst for our new partner. Friends questioned Francoeur’s weight loss — about 15 pounds — but she was apathetic to do anything about it. Thankfully, studies show these intense feelings only last somewhere between six months to two years.
Can’t concentrate: You may think very clearly, but you can’t think about anything but him or her. It’s the dopamine that gives you that obsessive focus. Romantic love is an obsession. You can’t stop thinking about the person. But you’re thinking of every detail of them: what he said, how she moved, what he meant by that. You’re focused — just not on work or your to-do list. Not surprisingly, some of us actually chase lovesickness. “Probably about 6 to 10 percent of the population is born with poorly functioning dopamine receptors,” says Ware. To them, everything feels a little black and white blah until they are shot with cupid’s arrow and get that reward cascade cocktail of neurotransmitters pumping. Then they think, “Wowsa! Life is in color!” And they continue to chase that feeling. Problem is, nature didn’t expect for us to spend that long in the pursuit period. Nature expects us to settle down and procreate.
Chest pressure: When people feel chest pressure, it’s probably panic, says Fisher. When you first fall in love brain circuitry is linked with panic and anxiety. Fisher and her colleagues scanned over 75 people’s brains that were madly in love and found they showed activity in part of the insular cortex of the brain, which is linked with fear.
Some scientists go so far to liken limerence to mental illness. People in a manic state, for example, show an abnormally heightened mood, self esteem, and sense of anxiety and tend to do out-of-the-norm things, like make rash decisions.
Nausea and butterflies: Most of us have had a queasy or nervous feeling in our stomachs just before something important is about to take place. Falling in love is equally important. Nature sure thinks so. Fisher explains the queasy stomach is the same feeling you might experience before a big exam, a job interview or stage fright. The release of norepinephrine, dopamine and cortisol divert blood away from the gut and give you that off your stomach feeling that signifies, "I’m so excited I might vomit."
Lovestruck folks may also contend with sweaty palms, weak knees, dry mouth, increased heart rate and light headedness. The good news (if you don’t break up): Limerence turns into a calming deeper attachment, and these health side effects subside.
Read more: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44010532
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
11 Break Up Must Haves from Patti Stanger
Dating Detox: The best thing you can do is to take a dating break. It can be anywhere from 30 to 90 days, depending on how long you were with the guy. I did meditation, and my teacher did hypnosis to clear the energy from past relationships and any residue I was harboring.”
Endorphin High: “The endorphins kick in when you work out. Once I started exercising, I started feeling skinnier---and skinnier means sexier. It’s not about losing weight, it’s about feeling good.”
Mother Knows Best: After Stanger's recent breakup, her mother gave her one piece of advice that she swears by: "Whether you're 18 or 80, there's always another man around the corner."
A Big Don’t: The first thing you shouldn't do post-breakup is to call you ex-boyfriend and ask, 'Why did you break up with me?' Because obviously he didn't want you, and that's just going to make you feel bad. Even if he said, 'You don't listen,' or whatever the excuse, it's never going to make you feel good. Never ever. So don't ask."
The Good Book: "Getting to I Do is like the bible. I don't think that you can get a better book that talks about the alchemy of love between men and women. Why do men think the way they do, and why are women getting it wrong?"
Help Yourself: "If you want a self-help book, then get Abraham Hicks's book Ask and It Is Given. It's the only self-help book that you will ever need."
Comfort Food: "I live on the Miracle Noodle. They have lots of fiber, and there are no carbs in it. I add a little truffle oil, a little cottage cheese and a little salt, and I'm good to go. It's kind of my mac 'n' cheese, without being fattening. I'm also a chocaholic. You have to splurge."
Read more: http://glo.msn.com/living/10-break-up-must-haves-from-patti-stanger-7304.gallery?gt1=49006
Endorphin High: “The endorphins kick in when you work out. Once I started exercising, I started feeling skinnier---and skinnier means sexier. It’s not about losing weight, it’s about feeling good.”
Mother Knows Best: After Stanger's recent breakup, her mother gave her one piece of advice that she swears by: "Whether you're 18 or 80, there's always another man around the corner."
A Big Don’t: The first thing you shouldn't do post-breakup is to call you ex-boyfriend and ask, 'Why did you break up with me?' Because obviously he didn't want you, and that's just going to make you feel bad. Even if he said, 'You don't listen,' or whatever the excuse, it's never going to make you feel good. Never ever. So don't ask."
The Good Book: "Getting to I Do is like the bible. I don't think that you can get a better book that talks about the alchemy of love between men and women. Why do men think the way they do, and why are women getting it wrong?"
Help Yourself: "If you want a self-help book, then get Abraham Hicks's book Ask and It Is Given. It's the only self-help book that you will ever need."
Dress For Success: "Buy a LBD mini, with three-quarter-length sleeves, a V-neck. It'll go a long way. Any Donna Karan, any Diane von Furstenberg. The wrap dress is a staple for generations to come.
Jean Therapy: "Find a pair of great skinny jeans. I love Genetic Denim—they have the best stretch. You can throw them in the wash and they return back to where they started."
Read more: http://glo.msn.com/living/10-break-up-must-haves-from-patti-stanger-7304.gallery?gt1=49006
Golddiggers Belong on New Dating Website
I once had a roommate who admitted she was involved with a sugar daddy. He paid for her school tuition, her rent, her breast implants ... and I don't really know what, if anything, she gave him in return. But the whole set-up felt really skeezy to me. Wasn't she a golddigger? And he must have been a creepy loser. Regardless, pretty young women hooking up with rich, lonely men is a relationship phenomenon that's probably existed since the dawn of time. And now, people seeking to fulfill either side of the equation -- "sugar baby" or "sugar daddy" -- can find one another on the "premiere" site offering companionship for money called SeekingArrangement.com.
On the site, men who are defined as "rich and successful... single or married" (ick) set up profiles that reveal the amount in their bank accounts and the monthly allowance he can provide a woman (usually at least $1,000 to more than $20,000).
Then, they pay $50 a month for membership, and $1,000 a year for the site to certify their wealth. For women, ideally "attractive, ambitious and young," membership is free.
If someone actually wants to be a sugar daddy, I would rather they'd at least be forthright about it! At least these people on SeekingArrangement are being honest about the kind of relationship they're out for. (Err, sans the ones who are married. Those who think they can hide a Hugh Hefner-ish existence from a wife, well, that's a whole different story.) And hey, at least this keeps these people off of conventional dating sites.
Would you sign up for a dating site like this?
Read more: http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/124891/golddiggers_belong_on_new_dating
On the site, men who are defined as "rich and successful... single or married" (ick) set up profiles that reveal the amount in their bank accounts and the monthly allowance he can provide a woman (usually at least $1,000 to more than $20,000).
Then, they pay $50 a month for membership, and $1,000 a year for the site to certify their wealth. For women, ideally "attractive, ambitious and young," membership is free.
If someone actually wants to be a sugar daddy, I would rather they'd at least be forthright about it! At least these people on SeekingArrangement are being honest about the kind of relationship they're out for. (Err, sans the ones who are married. Those who think they can hide a Hugh Hefner-ish existence from a wife, well, that's a whole different story.) And hey, at least this keeps these people off of conventional dating sites.
Would you sign up for a dating site like this?
Read more: http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/124891/golddiggers_belong_on_new_dating
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